bros_anne

10:34 AM

Wed, 26 Nov 2008 15:45:32 GMT

NEON BIBLE, NOT MUCH CHANCE FOR SURVIVAL: I either wish my hair would get longer faster, or that I could completely chop it all off again, like Natalie Portman in Hotel Chalvaier. I know I'd probably hate it, but it just seems so easy to keep track of, and really short hair can be cute, right? Whatever, I'll just try to be patient and stop cutting. It hasn't exactly hit me yet that I am done with school. This just feels like vacation since everyone else is also on vacation. The second everyone is back at RIT and I'm still at home is when it'll probably hit me. No more parties every weekend, more time spent alone in bed watching tv shows or movies on my laptop, and for some reason, that's fine with me. I really want Christmas to get here, as much as its a pain in cities and at school, when I'm at home my little Victorian town looks like an old Christmas movie, but in color. A week from tomorrow is the Victorian Street Walk, an annual Christmas celebration where the street goes back to old times, there are horses and buggies, caroling, shopping, etc. It's a pretty good time. I'll be serenading passersby (passerbys?) with my guitar and a selection of Christmas tunes. Should be interesting.
I've been running a lot lately, and waiting to hear back from this office assistant job. I hope I get to wear pant suits. I'll wear them for $18/hr, and hopefully that'll get me to Chicago faster. I'm hoping to spend New Years there. We'll see. I might have to wait until after the holiday season. Part of me actually wants to take the train in, just so I won't have to take the train ride from O'Hare to the Loop. I hate that shit.

6:54 PM

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 23:54:58 GMT

AWESOME.

1:44 AM

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 06:45:11 GMT

NEILSON HATES MY FEET. Notice how i get him to trust me by being loving during the clip, and then I attack again. Also the girl screams are coming from Neilson, the hoarse 80yr old woman smoker "screams" are me. the laughing hysterically is me, too.

1:54 AM

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 06:54:58 GMT

PRACTICING OUR NON-REGIONAL DICTION. MORE TO COME.

(p.s. let it be known that i originally thought this was going to be a picture, and then he said "nope, its a video.")

11:38 PM

Sat, 15 Nov 2008 04:52:00 GMT

TURN THE WHITE SNOW RED AS STRAWBERRIES IN THE SUMMERTIME: Live from Ballston Spa, New York, it's Friday night. I just got home a little over an hour ago from Rochester. I'm only staying for a week or two, and then actually returning to Rochester. I need to learn how to start making decisions and then how to stick to them. I hung out with Joanna, Woody, Nate, and Nick Law last night. Got very drunk and played Apples to Apples and scammed YouTube videos. It was a very good night. I still really like Nate. I would appreciate it if things could start working out smoothly for me. Where I can decide to like someone and then magically they are just like, "oh, I like you, too! isn't this just the jam?" Unfortch, things don't necessarily (ever) happen like that (for me). I ran around for a good couple of hours yesterday making an attempt to take back my Associate's Degree and change my major to Journalism. If you're asking yourself what I'm doing, you're not the only one. I have no idea. In other news though, This is my X MAS WISH LIST JIMMY JAMM.
I will not receive most of these things:

The Crackberry Storm (WANT).

Newest/Latest/Greatest MacBook Pro (definitely not happening)

Portable Harddrive (third year i've asked for this. seriously.)

other things include: various american apparel things, various urban houseware things, some things from sephora, tickets to chicago, for nate to be my boyfriend, dark knight and chronicles of narnia price caspian DVDs...etc.

12:53 PM

Sat, 25 Oct 2008 16:51:25 GMT

KEATON & HIS COW FRIENDS.

FUN FACTS:
-I'm going to a "Cat Show" tomorrow. Yes, much like a dog show, but with cats. I'm going to bring a camera.
-Super stoked that Monster Fest has finally started on TV.
-Going to a Halloween Party dressed like Wendy and Jack from the Shining next week.
-Went to this huge thrift off three times this weekend and bought vintage purple luggage and a number of things.

3:47 AM

Sat, 25 Oct 2008 07:47:24 GMT

COME DOWN FROM THE MOUNTAIN, YOU HAVE BEEN GONE FOR TOO LONG: I talked to my Mom today and we decided that it would be beneficial for us to open another store location. We decided Albany, and she said that it would essentially be my store, and that I would be responsible for it. She also told me that if I went through with it, she would get me my own apartment in Albany so I wouldn't have to live with my parents or travel the 30-40 minute commute every morning. The only downfall of this plan is that I would still be in Upstate New York instead of somewhere more lavish and exciting. However, I would be the manager of a store, so I'd get to do whatever I wanted and just hire some minions to do my business biddings. I'd live alone, get a nice cat or dog, work all day every day, make money, and be able to afford things for myself. This couldn't be so bad, could it?

1:34 AM

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 05:32:35 GMT

RUINING YOUR "HOTT GIRL" SYNDROME SINCE 1987.

6:20 PM

Thu, 16 Oct 2008 22:33:22 GMT

WE'VE SEEN HOW SICK WE WERE, BUT I'VE GOT YOU FOR MY LIFE, AND I'LL LOVE YOU LIKE I'LL LOVE YOU WHEN I DIE: So at officially 3:35 PM I became an RIT graduate. Didn't see that one coming. I walked in to meet with the Student Services advisor to talk about going about dropping out of college, and she mentioned an Associates Degree. So we counted my credits and I had enough to get at least some kind of a degree. I guess its a good thing to be able to show something for going to school for so long. I ran into Antonio outside so he'd give me a ride home and I told him that I was a graduate and he yelled, "YEAH GIRL!" and kissed my cheek, so apparently its a good thing I'm not an entire waste of life.
More importantly, however, please notice above how I mentioned Antonio kissing me on the cheek. In the open. In front of...others? I love not being a complete embarrassment sometimes. He's a good friend, I like that he kisses me on the cheek, its an interesting little feeling, like "hey you care about me, but not too much, this is good."
So in less than or equal to (<) 3 weeks, I'll be heading home to get some things together (my life), hang with my mom for a hot minute, buy a better vehicle, and then driving my ass out west, making various stops along the way in Rochester (one last goodbye), Buffalo (one high five), Chicago (whut whut), and then finally Los Angeles, California.
I move fast.

(dwnld & lstn 2 "Land of Talk")

1:50 PM

Sat, 11 Oct 2008 17:55:01 GMT

THE SUSPENSE IS TERRIBLE, I HOPE IT WILL LAST: Last night I had a really awful dream. I am not going to get into it, because I hope once I neglect to update this journal in the future I don't have to stumble across it. It was that bad. A bad enough nightmare, that I didn't realize I was dreaming and thus, couldn't wake myself up out of it. I fell asleep at Neilsons before I had the nightmare, and was so freaked out about falling asleep and falling back into it, that I walked home in 30 degree weather in a t-shirt at 5AM. I ran into Antonio as he was getting out of work at 5 and he was yelling at me for being out alone at that hour, so eventually he convinced me to stay with him. It felt nice to know that someone actually cares about me a little. I know others do, but they don't exactly show it so often. Every time I'd move slightly he'd ask me if I was okay, because I told him that the dream caused me to walk home. I slept fine the rest of the night because he was holding onto me. He's a good friend.
I have the next couple of days to decide my plan of action. I can stay in school and be wasting an unheard of amount of money on nothing really benefiting me, or I can drop my ass out of college and move to LA after a couple months of working at home somewhere. Is there really any question as to what I should do? No, I didn't think so.

4:50 PM

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 20:49:44 GMT

CALI-FORN-I-CATION?: So I'm currently applying for a job in LA. If I get it, I'm outta here. My Mom even agreed that it is a-okay. Cross your fingers.

10:09 PM

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 02:10:52 GMT

YOU CAN CALL ON TOAD EARLY OR LATE. HE'S ALWAYS THE SAME FELLOW. ALWAYS GOOD-TEMPERED, ALWAYS GLAD TO SEE YOU, ALWAYS SORRY WHEN YOU GO: Nothing really going on. I cut my hair off. It ruled.

10:56 AM

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 15:02:48 GMT

AND WE ALMOST MADE IT INTO CANADA. YET THE THOUGHT OF BREATHING ANOTHER COUNTRY'S AIR TURNED US AROUND: Antonio and I decided to go thrifting in Buffalo this passed weekend. We started by leaving late (thanks to Antonio-but he made up for it by having a pack of cigarettes for me in the car and bringing a great deal of charisma to the table, obviously) and eventually we arrived at Keeli's apartment. Long story short, it was a nice Saturday, and Saturday night wasn't so awful either. We came back to go to our friend Bobby's (pictured on the far left) birthday party where I found myself falling in love with the adorably asian Jason Yi (obvious far right). I'd like to point out the fact that I've been all about the flavours of foreign countries lately (not literally).

6:59 PM

Wed, 01 Oct 2008 22:57:24 GMT

Take a picture of yourself right now.
Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair...just take a picture.
Post that picture with NO editing.

(stolen from christine)

9:00 PM

Wed, 01 Oct 2008 01:05:27 GMT

I SLEEP THE BEST IN COLD, DREAMS AREN'T WHAT THEY USED TO BE: So last night and today were spent entirely in the studio shooting for my portrait assignment. I didn't mind doing so much work, I feel like I'm moving numbly through time these passed couple days. My heart is completely crushed, and its hard for me to keep my head held high. I've been avoiding Jeff like the plague lately, but apparently Woody ran into him yesterday while he was at work and Jeff had asked him, "Have you seen her at all?" and Woody said that he has, and Jeff said, "She won't talk to me", to which Woody replied, "I know." Avoiding him came to an end tonight though, I walked into Javas with my roommate and he asked me if I would talk to him yet. I said I didn't know. After talking to my roommate about the situation, she told me that maybe I should talk to him, or just listen to what he has to say. I wasn't sure if I was ready for that, the wounds are still very fresh. However, I gave him the option. I said that if he wanted to talk, it was going to be tonight, and in my apartment so I could feel safe. I want to yell at him, and swear at him, and hate him so much, but I can't. I am in love with him, but I won't ever try to be with him again. After tonights conversation, I will never speak to him again except in passing. He completely shattered me. I hate feeling this way. Every morning he is my first thought, and every night he is my last thought. I have cried as much as I could possibly cry, and now I am just a numb shell. I feel like he wants to talk to me just so he can feel better about himself. The truth is that he can't change or undo anything that he has done. I am in a terrible mood.

10:48 AM

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 14:46:29 GMT

No picture, no title.

Jeff is seeing someone and I found out. Well doesn't this all just feel so familiar?
GET ME OUT OF HERE.

9:16 PM

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 01:22:57 GMT

(May 2007)
FRUSTRATED: With basically everything at the moment. I quit my job today because I couldn't do it along with school, the digital leaf back I was using in the studio tonight wasn't working tethered to my computer (so I have nothing for the assignment due at 2 tomorrow thus far), and Jeff hasn't returned any of my texts or my call. So what the fuck is going on today? If he would just text me or call me back really quick I'd feel 100x better instantly (given that he isn't pissed off at me for some unknown reason).
Why is it that I'm constantly thinking he's pissed off at me? I almost wish he'd move away so I didn't have to see him everyday or feel like something is constantly waiting to hit the fan. I'm going nuts. I swear, I have the worst luck in the world. If one thing goes wrong everything instantly starts to go wrong. I wish I could just be so cold hearted to not care. School is kicking my ass so hard, all I want to do is run away on a vacation at home or Chicago or in LA again. I want to be done with school. I want to just go work for the rest of my life in some radical coffee shop where I can have tattoos and wear jeans and comfy v-necks and listen to insanely awesome music. I want to be able to pay off my loans (slowly), wear American Apparel, and live in a great little apartment in a great little city with a big fat happy cat.
Oh, what a lonely life I dream to have (and I was so happy a few days ago. Or was I?)

11:32 PM

Thu, 18 Sep 2008 03:51:33 GMT

c/o neilson tam

YOU CHANGE ALL THE LEAD SLEEPING IN MY HEAD TO GOLD. AS THE DAY GROWS DIM, I HEAR YOU SING A GOLDEN HYMN, ITS THE SONG I'VE BEEN TRYING TO SING: Good things come to those who wait? I know that its been a very long time since I've updated, and I know that it doesn't really matter because I have two friends on this jam, but whateva eva. So I do have quite a lot to catch this jawn up on. Basically, I've been running around like a maniac for the passed 2 weeks. I started a new job at Finger Lakes Coffee Roasters (and have already maybe been fired for sleeping through my alarm and obviously, my shift yesterday, I'm still not sure), I have been working on large format cameras, and I may or may not be "dating" Jeff Haschmann finally (more on this later because I'm sure its the only thing that you cats care about).
Uhmn, lets see. So I have been working at FLCR now for a couple of shifts and I do really like it but the hours are killing me. Most mornings I have to get up at 4:45 AM just to make it there on time and park my car and walk to the hospital (the cafe is located in the hospital, I forgot to mention...charming, isn't it?). Its really not what I want to be doing as far as being a barista goes, but everyone has to start somewhere, and if I have to start by wearing a dumb ass hat, huge pair of khakis, and a ridiculous bright blue shirt that says EMERGENCY CAFFEINE on the back of it, then so be it. Really, I hope to just be working at a cafe where I can wear whatever I want and work at noon. Baby steps, girl, baby steps. My boss seems cool enough. I can't tell what age she is (maybe 30+), and she says, "...what you want to go ahead and do..." too much, but occasionally I like her.

We've both been sick lately, so we're keeping to ourselves. It turns out he does like me a fair amount and we've made a deal that we're "not dating, but don't do anything with anyone else." I think that is basically called a relationship. This concept is a little foreign to me, but I can deal with it. I guess I'm finally getting what I wanted, right? I couldn't ask for more really, I don't know what I'd ask for. He has been taking care of me these last couple of nights because I'm a little more sick than he is, given that I've also been stressed and therefore haven't eaten a proper meal in 2 weeks (see my meal list below). The diabetes has been coming in pretty full force lately, maybe due to the lack of food consumption. I'm not sure, I just know that I completely lost my appetite from the little sleep and lot of work both school and finger lakes. With that knowledge, please enjoy my "workout plan". It's called the "I'm a fucktard and I drink too much coffee and don't eat for 2 weeks so I lost 16 pounds" diet. Enjoy.
Workout Plan: start by getting the flu and then get up every morning at 4:45 and walk from your car to work (10 minutes), run around at work for hours (6-8 hours), run from work to your car (5 minutes), run from your car to class (10 minutes), drink 9 cups of coffee a day, smoke a pack of cigarettes, ride your bike to the studio (15 minutes), drink more coffee, smoke more cigarettes, go to bed at 1 AM, and repeat. If you need to eat, graze on dry lettuce leaves. If you are stressed and tired enough, the look and thought of good should make your stomach absolutely turn. If your stomach growls for long periods of time but doesn't "hurt", you're doing it right. (don't do this, it sucks).

KILL ME.

9:22 AM

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 13:24:23 GMT

21 YEARS OF LIVING: Today is my birthday, and aside from it being kind of a drag last night (which is okay, cause it wasn't my official BD yet), i think today will be good. I've just decoded my birthday message from mike (pictured one entry down) that he left on my FB wall. It read:

596f752772652062
6972746864617920
676966743a206120
447265616d204461
7465205061636b61
676520696e636c75
64696e672070696e
6b20666f6720616e
64205072696e6365
2028627574207072
6f6261626c79206a
75737420616c636f
686f6c20696e7374
656164292e

which means:

"Your Birthday Gift: a Dream date Package including pink fog and Prince. Probably just alcohol instead."

My dad is going to take me to Target to get new underwear, since the dog ate all of mine (not kidding, srsz buzns). He's also going to get me a new pair of running shoes, since I've picked up running again, and then we'll have lunch, i'll say goodbye to my Moms, and it'll be off to Rochester with me to celebrate with some friends, if I can find them. lulz.

9:52 PM

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 01:57:05 GMT

YOUR SILVER BONES WITH SILVER SIDES: Meet Michael Ricciardi. Big time mathematician and all around sweetheart. Michael likes to teach me the ways of ASCII Characters, as well as hexadecimal conversions. We conversed through this 4C:61:6E:67:75:61:67:65 (language) last night, which basically gives letters (both capital and lowercase) code value things (as demonstrated) above. Michael Ricciardi is a big nerd, but he is a fun big nerd. He dances with me even when I'm too drunk to stand up, he talks to me on FB chat, and he is a world class champ at standing and posing with coffee and a cigarette. Michael Ricciardi likes me. I am at a loss for words as to what I do about it.

10:46 PM

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 02:57:07 GMT

DON'T SAY I NEVER GAVE YOU ANYTHING: Me from 1960 & 1992, courtesy of "yearbookyourself.com". Try your own gorgeous hairstyles on your face HERE. Enjoy!

2:32 AM

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 06:34:52 GMT

DUM DUM DA DUM. DUM DUM DA DUM: Guess who's getting married? No, not I. Ashley Clute and Daniel Canary! I'm so excited. He proposed to her from his hospital bed (which sounds worse than it was) and she said yes. He's going out to get her a ring once he is let out of the hospital and and and! I GET TO BE THE MAID OF HONOR! I probably wouldn't be nearly as excited about this as I am, except this is my first wedding ever, and being maid of honor is going to be so much fun. I'm tremendously excited.

11:57 PM

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 04:16:41 GMT

WHEN I CAN'T AGREE TO LEAVE: I was cruising MySpace earlier and came across a posted survey where the first question asked you to say ten different things to ten different people. This is basically for my own use here, just so I can get it all out--I don't like to take MySpace surveys seriously at all. So, without further adieu, 10 things to 10 different people:

10. When I ask you to "leave me alone", it isn't code for "try harder". It means "get the fuck away from me, quit contacting me, and leave me the fuck alone." Take a a hint before I take a restraining order out on you.

9. Look in the mirror and really ask yourself if you think things are ever going to get better for you. Seriously. Just look at your reflection and realize that you're not getting any younger, better looking, or more charming. Realize the truths to your lies and then realize that I am giving you everything you need in order to be happy. I won't have anything left to give soon, so take it while you can.

8. Come back into my life! Call me when you say you're going to call me, and call me at an acceptable hour. I don't want to talk to you about serious matters when you're drunk, but I do want to talk to you. I might be a little in love with you, but I'm more in love with someone else.

7. You are not any better than anyone you judge. You are a disgusting waste of air and space. You wonder why you don't have anyone--but why would anyone want to be with you anyways? You don't hold onto guys for very long at all, you are fickle, and you complain far too much. Maybe focus on bettering yourself before questioning why nobody sees anything in you. There isn't anything to see.

6. Stop being such a fucking slut, and stop slutting around on the dudes I like.

5. I want to be you. If I could pick anyone who I could look like instead of myself, it would be you. I wish I could hate you, but you're just too fucking nice. I am all shades of green, here.

4. Flaunt your money. I love it. It really brings out the poor in me.

3. Plain and simple: get a life.

2. Your girlfriend is a fucking bitch. She is going nowhere in life and I hope you see that eventually and break up with her dumb ass. Oh, and I'm sorry I totally fucked you over last Summer, cause you're totally good looking still and I wish I was her, too.

1. You are biting off way more than you are mentally able to chew. Let the members of your family involved in the problems deal with the problems. You are not required to pick up your Mom's slack or tell her what your brother is thinking. Your dad is also an asshole, so its not important to do anything to make him happy. He cheated on your Mom, for gods sake.

10:32 PM

Sun, 10 Aug 2008 02:36:12 GMT

I HEARD YOU LIKE CARS. SO I PUT A CAR IN YOUR CAR SO YOU CAN DRIVE WHILE YOU DRIVE: Hello! Michael Phelps just won the gold in the 400 IM! Yeah Phelps! I don't really have much to comment on at the moment, so I'm basically boring. I'm stuck at home with no internets, but I've been watching "21" a lot because I have a huge crush on Jim Sturgess. I'm so bored.

1:40 AM

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 05:46:50 GMT

I MISS THIS DUDE!: Loves me, loves me not, who cares? I still miss this dude cause he ruled when he was around to hang out. Let's see, today Gor Gor (my giant rabbit) died, and Andrew stalked me out in Rochester. Today sucked. But Jake sent me that picture above, and that ruled.